Our Other Blog

Gravestone for Dad

A dear family friend, Benoit Dessard, made this headstone for my dad. We're so grateful...
*******

Jere McKinney

"...Long-time, steadfast servant of Baha'u'llah"

-The Universal House of Justice






Once the rainy season begins, a garden will be planted around the grave.

Anniversary of Dad's passing

Letter from mom:
Hi everyone,

I just wanted to share with you the beautiful Feast we had last night.

I dedicated this Feast to Jere since it was the eve of his passing. Interestingly at the last minute 15 more people arrived from the seminar they were having for coordinators of pre-youth groups. They came from Panama, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Puerto Rico, and Mexico. They came full of songs and laughter and it was truly a special Feast in Jere's honor. I know he was happy - he loved big "booming" gatherings with the friends.

I had made dinner (Enchaladas, beans, mexican rice, salad and chocolate cake) planning it just for our community, but as is always the case the "bread" kept multiplying and everyone was fed with some left over. I'll send pictures later today.

Right now, I'm leaving with Marcos to see how we can transport the "lapida" for Dad's grave - It's sooooo beautiful.

And I just got word from Colin that Ilka is on her way to the hospital to deliver Sierra Leon [Ali's daughter!]. How interesting that today is the day that Dad left and it will be the day that his granddaughter arrives!

I know we will all be saying special prayers.

Love you all deeply,

Mom/Julie
[The marble headstone will be put in tomorrow after a final polishing, and a garden will be planted around the grave by the community]

Blooming flowers

Mom's blog

My mom just started a new blog. Here's the link:

More than Gratitude

"They that have forsaken their country in the path of God and subsequently ascended unto His presence, such souls shall be blessed by the Concourse on High and their names recorded by the Pen of Glory among such as have laid down their lives as martyrs in the path of God, the Help in peril, the Self Subsisting."
-Bahá'úlláh

It's so comforting to think of dad in this elevated position.

Love you all

Mom/Julie

My Mom has planted a beautiful, small garden over his grave:

My dad was the person responsible for taking huququllah payments and sending them to the holy land. Also for teaching about huquq to the baha'is in the country.
My mom hosted the Huququllah representatives from Central America (Costa Rica, Mexico, Honduras and El Salvador) for several days. They were in Costa Rica for a meeting and a conference.
Here's a picture of them visiting my dad's grave.

Dad's Memorial

We had a very dignified memorial for my Dad.
The family each read a prayer or writing. My brothers, Colin and David, sang a beautiful Hidden Word: "O Son of Man! If thou lovest Me, turn away from thyself; and if thou seekest My pleasure, regard not thine own; that thou mayest die in Me and I may eternally live in thee." - Baha'u'llah
Moad Grasselli sang "Ya-Baha'u'llah-Abha" and Juliet Seals sang "Blessed is the Spot".
Then we watched a sweet video of my Dad's life which was prepared so perfectly and tenderly by David. Finally, friends shared stories and thoughts about him. Everyone has been touched in a very particular way by my Dad. Everyone was important to him and he thought at all times of being of some service to everyone who crossed his path.
I feel so incredibly proud of being his daughter. And I'm so thankful for my Mom. She took such good care of him throughout his life, and especially these last six months as his condition worsened. She has always been his loving, supportive companion and teammate, and will keep him in her heart as she devoutly carries on the work of the Cause.
Please keep her in your prayers along with my Dad.
Thank you to all those who attended the memorial service, and for everyone's loving and supportive emails and phone calls.







The memorial was held on our back porch. Friends filled these 70 or so chairs and stood on the sides and in the back.



The video of his life was projected onto this wall:

Food was served here:



We printed out everyone's loving emails and blog comments. People were free to read through them and add their own:

Memorial Service: Sunday, December 23, 1 pm.

My Mom has this very special prayer room on the top floor of her house:




My mom received this letter today:

The National Spiritual Assembly
of the Baha'is of Costa Rica


Dear Baha'i Friends,

The Universal House of Justice was saddened to learn of the passing of
long-time, steadfast servant of Baha'u'llah Jere McKinney, whose years of
dedicated service to the Cause as a pioneer are recalled with gratitude.
Kindly assure his family of the prayers of the House of Justice at the
Sacred Threshold for the progress of his devoted soul throughout the worlds of God
as well as for their own comfort and solace.

With loving Baha'i greetings,

Department of the Secretariat





The family getting together, cheering each other up:

My beloved father, Jere, passed away late this evening (December 12th).

Allah-u-Abha!

In mom's words: Dad embraced himself with his arms, took a deep
breath, lifted his hands in the air, laid them down and closed his
eyes with a smile on his face. When I walked into the room he had the
most serene look on his face.
Shortly after he passed away some of the members of the community arrived and we all gathered to say some prayers together. Mom didn't want him to just lay there all night in bed, so between Marcos, Dick and I we washed and prepared the body for
today's funeral. The casket was brought in at midnight and is hand-made of the finest hard wood. We made last minute decisions last night to have the funeral today (13th of December) and then a memorial later on when mom decides is best. So today's funeral will begin with prayers at 2:00PM local Costa Rican time at our house, at 3:00 PM we will have a car take the casket to the local cemetery. My mom will
then let everyone know when we can have a memorial for the people that
could not attend the funeral. I think she wanted to keep the funeral
down to family members, close friends and the local community.

Dad already had a death certificate and that is being submitted as I
speak...I have a lot to do so I will keep this short.. Love you all very
much.. I slept with mom last night and we stayed up until early hours
this morning talking about things, which was really nice. Hardly slept
at all, so forgive this disorderly informative letter.

Love and more love,
David.

A few pictures

My Dad just sent these pics of he and my Mom with the Ighani family and with their friend Ben:

Update Nov. 27th

From an email from Julie:

Jere continues to remain comfortable with the medicines he's taking. We also found a wonderful young woman who is a physical therapist and lives here in town. She comes up every day to massage his feet and legs and is helping to keep the edema under control.

Today we went to the regional convention to elect delegates and everyone applauded when we walked in. It was a very heart-warming moment.

He's losing weight rapidly, however, even though he is eating regularly and well, albeit not a lot. The doctor says this is the result of the matastisis. As a result, he also has much less energy and sleeps a great deal more. Last week we had more blood tests done and will have the results on the doctor's next visit the 7th of December - the day that Ali and his girlfriend Ilka arrive.

He remains positive and "tranquilo" and now looks forward to emails.

With warmest of love
Julie

Update Nov. 7th

Update sent from Julie:

Yesterday we had a visit from the pain clinic doctors who said they were concerned about the build-up of fluids in his system, but very happy to see him out of bed and eating much better. His appetite has increased 200% since we started giving him the new nausea medication. In fact most of his conversation centers around what he would like to eat. He’s lost those very hollow cheeks and I’m having a hard time keeping up with his voracious appetite!

The doctor has started him on some medicine that will reduce the water, but we must be careful to keep him hydrated at the same time – back to “pipa” (cocunut water). Last night he must have dropped a gallon of water he was up so many times to go to the bathroom, in fact, this morning the swollen stomach, groin and legs seemed much smaller. He feels so good that I’m kept busy running him around to hardware stores to find various items for home improvements. Yesterday, he actually changed the old toilet seat for a new one himself. He loves to just get out in the car a go to different places. Since he can’t drive (reaction time is slowed because of the morphine) I have become the official chauffer.

We still have lots of visitors coming by and bringing with them special blessings to our house. Dad really looks forward now to the visits and because he feels so much better can converse with everyone a lot longer.

*****

Pictures coming soon!

Back in Boston

My time in Costa Rica was very special. I'm so thankful I got this opportunity.
I've returned to Boston now, but intend to continue posting every bit of info and pictures I receive. In the meantime, I'm continuing my posts of Sasha on our other blog (link on the right).
Thank you all again for your prayers, emails, phone calls, and visits!

My Dad is still keeping busy, resting as needed, eating well and attending baha'i events whenever he gets a chance.

Here we are basking in the morning sun:




Mom helping Dad get ready to go to a Devotional gathering in our local community:



Mom seeing Dad off (she takes such good care of him!)



Sasha and Ela joined us too:




They sat together during prayers:



Devotional gathering:



Below are friends who have come from all over to visit with him:









I posted new pics on our other blog (click on the link on the right: Sasha, Aria and James)

Today we went to our neighbor, Gary's salt-water pool. He has the water set to a comfortable temperature and invited my Dad over to get some exercise.








Sasha didn't turn down the invitation to come along. She was ready before everyone else!

My Dad has been getting up and staying up all morning the past few days. He likes to have little projects to do so he fixes small things, sharpens kitchen knives, sweeps small areas and glues together what Sasha brakes! (only one thing so far). He has visitors every day and my mom is always just a great hostess!




My Dad watching a video with Sasha:




My Mom in the kitchen, making extravagant blends of simple things for Dad:






Gilberto and his Dad, Jim, visiting:

I'm in Costa Rica and I'm soo happy to be with my family right now. My Mom is incredible! She has been on top of the medication, has kept my Dad pain-free and by following her intuition has been able to satisfy his every need. He has all these tricks to keep from getting nauseous and one of them is to eat very slowly. He has been able to eat and keep it down for the most part, but isn't eating very much and so has lost a lot of weight. I asked him if he was happy and he said "How could I not be with all of these blessings in my life!" He, and all of us, are so touched by the amount of love and concern being shown.
Here are some pictures I took the first day I got here.




One of the things my Mom has been doing is every night while the rain is pouring down, she lights up a fire and reads to him. Right now they're reading "Caribbean" by James Michener.
Here he is warming up:



Mom giving Sasha a ride in Dad's walker!



Roya and Andres came to visit:



My Mom preparing some food for him:



Beautiful baby Ela:

Parviz and Dad working on Huqúqu'lláh:



With friends they met at the Atlanta Baha'i Center:



Mom and Sofia Medrano:



With Helen and Mohebat Agahi:



Dad and Brenda:

Small update

Here's a small bit of info on my Dad sent from my Mom:

"Some days are better than others and it still remains a challenge to find the foods that please him and that will stay down, but basically he is up for at least 4 hours a day, either walking or sitting in the window seat, doing a little work on his computer (which last night stopped giving us the letter "a"), and sometimes he just likes for me to read to him with a fire in the fireplace."

I'll be arriving in Costa Rica this weekend so I'll post some more info and pics.

We finally got some more pictures to share! My parents wonderful friends, Dick and Brenda have been helping them in any way they can. Brenda sent this bit of info as well as these pictures:


It was a difficult day today but David was able to get Jere established with the pain clinic so that a load is off your mom's mind - she will have backup when she needs it medically.

Love,
Brenda

I spoke to my Mom and she told me that things are going well. They're on top of the medication and they've been able to keep him pain free. He sleeps well at night and takes a nap in the morning. He's awake in the afternoon and gets out on his walker to get some exercise. He's very happy to be back home! His friends and the community are really happy to have him back as well and have been giving all of their support and love.

Their phone number for those who don't have it is (506) 249-1231

Jere's arrival in Costa Rica

Email from David:

Just wanted to let you know that Dad arrived with out any issues in Costa Rica. I was able to find a rented hospital bed and between Gianni, Dick, Brenda and I prepared all arrangements for his room downstairs. We showered him with flowers and all kinds of fruits and veggies and fresh food. Stocked up the house. I have placed Ela's baby monitors in his room for any emergencies. Mom will have one at the house and I will have one at all times next to me in my office. He was pretty relieved to be back home and called it "heaven" as he sipped some fresh juice that mom made for him.Ê

Anyway he is sound asleep right now. Thunder and rain has made its way for perfect time and will probably sleep like a baby through it all.

Love you all.
Will keep you posted.

David.

The latest news is that my Dad is still doing well. Once the medication was figured out, he's been pain-free. Jaleh is flying up tomorrow and will stay with them until they travel back to Costa Rica next Wednesday! They have the tickets so hopefully everything will go smoothly. Colin will be with them until Sunday.
The pictures are of Barry (James' biological father) and Kathy who took a three hour drive up to see them. Thank you so much for visiting!!

Dad's out of the Hospital

They took my Dad out of the hospital yesterday. He's back at Ali's house and they're going to keep him there a few days to see how he holds up. If everything continues as it is, they'll fly back to Costa Rica.
I'm waiting to get a more detailed update from my Mom or Colin and I'll post that as soon as I have it!
Thank you all for your prayers!

Colin with Dad

Email sent from Colin:

It has been really nice seeing Jere. He was chipper, responsive, got up and cleaned up, combed his hair, took a pretty long walk with his new walker, had a nice couple of conversations with him. He drank a whole thing of Boost today along with some ice tea and a few spoon fuls of pudding, jello,.... We talked about what we thought it would take to get him on a plane and get him home. It all depends on the blood count. The blood tests that were ordered this morning were just started (they just took blood for them this evening). We definitely need to find out if we can get an IV at home to keep him hydrated because he seems to do a lot better with less nausea when he is hydrated... He is sleeping peacefully right now... talking a little in his sleep... and a machine exercising his calf muscles making his leg twitch...


Hugs, C

Hi everyone,

They got dad/Jere up early today to take him down to rehab to begin walking a bit, but he was pretty weak and dizzy. He had thrown up his breakfast just before they came to get him. The doctor came later and said his blood count was down and he needed two more blood transfusions and more IV fluids. That's what they're doing now. Actually they're re positioning the needles because he jerks a lot in his sleep and pulls the existing ones out. I think with all of the drugs, he's beginning to hallucinate a lot and imagine things happening in front of him. He also talks a lot in his sleep.

We managed with much effort to bath him this morning (he really can't stand or walk on his own yet and needs lots of support). We thought that maybe we could leave the hospital this weekend, but I'm not so sure now.

Flinn is here and is so helpful. There's always something to do. We keep running out to buy things at the Whole Foods market that we think he'll eat, but we're now back to cream of wheat! All the water tastes bad to him, and we keep looking for just the right combination of things in the water so that he'll consume more. He's just not taking in enough liquid and thus the reason for yet another IV.

Sorry this is such a down letter. Some days are better than others.

Love you all

Mom/Julie

Latest email from Julie:

Dad had a pretty good day. They got him up to walk a few steps - very tough. They're giving him some blood that was lost in the operation which should give him more energy and tomorrow they will take him down to rehabilitation for more exercises. Waiting to hear from the radiologist about the strontium shot. Apparently he's giving dad some recuperation time before talking to us about this, but it's still on the table. Hopefully what this shot will do is lessen the pain and therefore lessen the need to consume so much morphine, hopefully reducing the lazy bowels syndrome. We're back to the idea of not doing chemotherapy when we get home.
I'm guessing, but I think we'll be here another week to 10 days

Hi everyone,

Dad's test results came back yesterday and the small growth they spotted in the spinal fluid is NOT malignant! We are so relieved. He has still been scheduled for the operation to put the pin in his hip on Monday morning. This is as far as we have been able to go with medical decisions. The doctor said that he should be able to leave the hospital by next Saturday providing he is stable with the pain meds and bowel problems. He is always so much better when on the IV. We just have to figure out a way to get him to drink lots of water when they take the IV off. The problem is the nausea, which he doesn't have when on the IV.

Any ideas?

Love you all

Mom

New Update

Hi everyone,

There was such a flurry of activity in here this morning. At 7:30 am the neurologist was here to take some spinal fluid from dad. (They suspect a tumor in the spine fluid of the 2nd lumbar area.) We will have the results, hopefully, late this afternoon.

Just after this doctor left, the bone doctor showed up and informed us that the right pelvis is in danger of breaking unless they insert a pin. The operation is scheduled for MOnday!

On his heels came the urologist who explained that because of the aggravated lymph nodes near his uretha, they are pushing against it and created a small blockage in that area. They want to insert a tube that it open it up and allow for a better flow.

Trying to put all this together with the doctor in charge, we've decided to wait on the tube in the uretha until he's comfortable with the pin. Comfort is such a relative term these days for Jere. We're still dealing with bowels and nausea caused by the mophine although they have gotten on top of the pain (relatively) and he's being given pain meds every 12 hours.

We're still trying to decide now whether to start chemo here or wait until Costa Rica. This hasn't been discussed yet with the oncologist, because we haven't heard from the nuclear medical doctor to see if he still qualities for the strontium shot. If the tumor in his spinal fluids is malignant it can be radiated, but first the doctors are trying to find out if this is possible, since the area was radiated in New Mexico in 2004. Since radiation and chemo do not go together well, this decision has been suspended until we hear about the tumor!

Meanwhile, since he has not been eating that well and has a hard time drinking enough water, the doctor has decided to put him back on an IV.

So much information - we are feeling a bit overwhelmed!

Much love
Mom

My Mom just sent this email:

Dad is having some trouble with motion sickness. He gets nauseated when he moves or the light changes. So they're going to do a head scan today to see if anything is happening there. They're also concerned about a new tumor in his spine that is dangerously close to the nerves. It seems like we make progress in some areas and then go backwards in others. We had hoped to return home by next week, but are still not sure. Colin will fly down when we're ready to go so that I won't have to make the trip by myself with Jere should an emergency arise.
...
We have to talk to the radiologists today and find out if he still qualifies for the strontium shot and how much time in between does he need in order to begin chemotherapy.
Meanwhile, I'm comfortable here at the guest house next to the hospital and am able to get an afternoon nap and go to bed early.

Another update

I just got off the phone with my Dad. He sounded great. He told me about the MRI he had just gotten. Apparently it's very easy to get claustrophobic in the long, narrow, magnetic tube one has to lay in for over one hour! He had gotten good advice from his mother who said to take deep breaths, close your eyes, and be in sort of a meditative state. He followed this advice and did great. He said there were all sorts of vibrations all around him, magnetic rumbles and odd sounds, so he felt like he was on a spaceship and imagined he was on an adventure heading off to Mars! (He still has his sense of humor!) He was also medicated so it was easy to sleep on and off.
He told me that he's finally taking some medication orally which means they're one step further to going back to Costa Rica. He's still off of the IV and trying to get liquids in as often as possible. He's still taking nausea medication and has been able to eat. He said he's really enjoying the hospital food!
They won't get the results of the MRI until later (don't know when), which will tell them whether the cancer has affected the spine neurologically.

I told him about all the comments and emails and my Mom reads them to him when she gets a chance, and it makes him really happy! Thank you all so much!

If anyone would like to contact him there are three options:
The first (and best one) is the cell phone my mom has on hand. The number is (772) 332-1032
The second is Ali's cell phone: (954) 347-5590
And the third is my dad's bedside phone. The only problem with calling this one is that he may be sleeping so it's hard to know when to call. I think it's safe to call around lunch time (noonish). He's staying at the VA Medical Center in West Palm Beach. The number is (561) 422-8262. They've moved him to several different rooms already so the extension number I have doesn't work. When they answer, just ask to be connected to Jere McKinney's room.

Pics

I want to keep this blog free for updates on my Dad. So in the meantime some pictures have been accumulating which I've decided to post somewhere else. I've created a new blog (called Sasha, Aria & James!). There's a link to it on the right.

I have returned to Boston, so I wait for my mom to send me updates so that I can post them.
Here's the latest:

I've moved into the guest facility that they have for the family of patients at the VA hospital. It's right next door and I'm able to spend more time with Dad and at the same time come over in the afternoon to rest.

Jere is off of the IV and will begin taking morfine by mouth instead of through his veins. I have to stay with him constantly to wake him up and give him liquids and getting him to eat is often difficult as well. He just doesn't have an appetite and feels like he will throw up if he eats. This in turn affects his bowels which are not functioning too well anyway becasue of the morfine.

If all goes well and he tolerates oral medication, we will be able to bring him home.

He will have an MRI scan on Tuesday or Wednesday to see if the cancer in his spine is threatening any nerves there which would ultimate prevent him from walking. The tumors are also in his lymphatic systems where they are pressing against the kidney and causing most of the pain. The doctors are looking into another very powerful strontium 89 pain shot as well as other bone strengthening meds. We are also looking into chemotherapy in Costa Rica to extend his life a few months.

He remains chipper and full of good humour when he's awake and sends his love and gratitude to everyone for their support and prayers.

I will try to keep you updated as often as I am able.

They've taken my Dad off of the IV and they're hoping to be able to start giving him his medication orally soon. His appetite seems to be improving. He ate a lot more today than usual and said that it tasted good. (Previously he had a strange after-taste).
My Mom discovered that there is a house on the premise where the patients family can stay for free! This is a really good option because we've been commuting back and forth from Ali's house which is about one hour away. Starting tonight she'll be able to stay there and not have to think about getting rides home or taking naps on chairs while my Dad sleeps.

I would post more pictures of him but we found out that we aren't allowed to take pictures inside the hospital. So for now, here are a couple of when we went out for dinner after visiting hours at the hospital, and when we went to the beach again for prayers.

The doctors have gotten on top of the pain for the moment. They've done some scans and taken some xrays and found that the cancer has moved into the lymph nodes and that those glands may be pushing against nerves and causing the additional pain. The doctor encouraged us to think about chemotherapy and we're looking into this possibility in Costa Rica. They seemy to feel that chemo has a good record of stopping the cancer in the lymph glands and that this will reduce the pain considerably. We're having bone scans done tomorrow and the oncologist can then advise us regarding another stronium 89 shot as well as bone meds, so we should be able to leave by next Thursday.

Unfortunately my Dad went through another tough night last night. He hardly slept and was in a lot of pain.
Finally, today a group of doctors came in who knew his history and had lots of very specific questions for him. They're getting x-rays and cat scans and lists of all the medication he's been taking (here and in Costa Rica) and we feel a bit more encouraged that they're going to come up with some sort of plan that will keep him pain free and hopefully be able to balance it so that he doesn't feel constipated, nauseated or dehydrated.
We picked up Lisa from the airport last night. My Dad (and the rest of us) was very happy to see her this morning.
He will be in the hospital for a couple more days at least. The hope is to get this all figured out by the end of next week, after his appointments with the Oncologist and Urologist, and they get him stable, so that they can travel back to Costa Rica where they can continue with the treatment from home.

We're so thankful for all your emails, phone calls, and loving thoughts and prayers.